I'm 73 so times are different.
our son and daughter were 18 months apart, son being the eldest.
Somehow, the girl never gave us any trouble.... the boy did good for the most part, but resented discipline and having to be home at 'drop dead time'...
at the age of 15 and having a DL in the state of Neuvo Mexicano ( Albuqueque, NM) he decided that he would just show us he could do what he damn well pleased. Took my 4x4 pickup and went south into old Mehico where they pretend they do NOT speak any English at all.... The truck had 2 fuel tanks and tank #1 was empty so he started asking around where he could buy some gas?
no one would talk to him, but a group of guys there started huddling up close to him and shoving him around... he jumped back in the truck and made a U turn for home... the gang of would be thieves jumped in a car and chased after him.... the truck being an old straight 6 F-150 did not have a lot of high speed capabilities, so he just left the highway to outrun them in the desert sands.... did pretty good until he decided to turn around and go back to the road..... then the truck went down into that sand....
so, he jumps out and turned the Hub Locks and engages the 4 wheel drive, and the thugs of course try to make a U turn also and cut him off.... but, the car is only rear wheel drive and it sinks in the sand....
good thing the saddle tank was full, and carried 2 gallons more fuel than the seat tank.... he made it back home....
meanwhile at the Ranch, I had contacted the Sheriff's department and issued an All Points Bulletin for a Run Away.... they found him about a mile from home..... the officer called me on the phone and told me where they were....
when I arrived, a little talk ensued and I told our son right there "give me your Driver's License now!" and I took out my knife and shredded right there.... and then I told him "you are grounded for 1 year, No TV, No friends, No Telephone privileges for 1 year..."
He laughed at me and said, "I will just go to a different town and get it replaced"....
The officer told him "sorry son, you license just got voided, your father just cut it up, and I reported that to the dispatcher." When he said that, the officer asked me "what do you want me to do, I have a report to fill out..... then, I asked him if he could take my son to the station and let him set inside there for 24 hours..... let him cool off and rethink the last 48 hours.....
The officer did, and the boy get a New EduKation real fast... he did not like his cell partners.
it was tough for a while, harder on me, than on him..... I had to drive them everywhere they needed to be.... I became a Full time baby sitter, drive them to school 18 miles away, pick them up in the evening..... it was rough....
there was something special coming up at the end of of that one year run, and I asked our son if he would like to get paroled....
I was real proud of him, he said "No, our agreement was for one year, I will stick with that"...
He is now a very respected R&D person in a highly technical arena building electric municipal buses that run off of batteries, diesel, or trolly wires...
Have you considered trying Family Counseling?
I have been through some of that, and it helped me a lot....
If at all possible, get everyone to attend.
you have to be first, get a repore (sp) going with the counselor, then the wife has to go in and give her side, then you go in together....
and finally the kids have to go...
Teenagers - how to cope?
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